Why did I become a Death Doula?
I know that it is my purpose and passion to work with those who are going to experience the inevitable-death. I hope that by stepping in at a time where there may be fear, unknowns and chaos, that I can bring forth peace, compassion and understanding.
Am I the brave one to step into the role of a death doula? Does it take bravery and an open heart? I have to believe that the answer to those two questions is yes. But quite honestly, I don’t like the idea of taking the credit with something so profound.
Then why is it so? Why does it take bravery, courage, an open heart and strength to be in the role of a death doula? Over the span of centuries, we {as a human collective} have become so afraid to talk about death. It is a topic, sort of like politics, that people tend to not really want to talk about it.
But why? We all have a full understanding that death is inevitable, it will happen to every being on this planet. We will experience it ourselves and we will experience it with our family, friends, neighbors, coworkers and so forth. I do understand that there is a huge component as to why so many of us run from the conversations and that is the pain and trauma of grief. But setting grief aside for a moment, I want to go back and talk about death.
I want to offer support and love for those who are walking their own path of death or walking along side someone through their experience. I also want death to be something more people become comfortable talking about.
Here are a few steps to start to open your heart, step into your bravery and courage and have those “not so fun” conversations.
Close your eyes and drop into your heart. Start to think about the word death. What arises within your body? Is it fear? Do you start to feel anxious? Now just allow yourself to feel those emotions that are arising. Use your breath and your heart space to just feel it for a few minutes. When you focus on this practice, overtime, you will start to feel more calm with the word death. The point is to allow yourself to first feel the emotions when they arise and overtime they will hopefully subside.
Start to have conversations with your spouse or loved ones about death. What does it mean for them? Explain to them what it may mean for you. The more you open yourself up to have those conversations, the more you experience ease.
In the privacy of your own space, start to write a legacy letter. How do you want to be remembered after you are gone? Write these things out on paper. Spend some time contemplating your legacy. When you feel you have finished, place it somewhere safe and share with your loved one where you keep it so they can access it if needed.
I know to most people death seems morbid and the more you talk about it the more real it feels. I get it, it can feel scary. Death is something we can start to embrace and feel comfortable talking about it or we can continue to run and hide from it.
The longer you deny the inevitable, the harder it becomes. When we hold onto the fear, pain and suffering the more it is manifested into your energy field and into the physical body. That goes for everything in life. It is much better to go through the “uncomfortableness” of something than allow it to manifest into dis-ease in the body.
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It is time to take ACTION! If you find yourself ready to take the next step with death planning (you can be very healthy to do this) then lets talk. I would love to sit down with you and talk about your options and action steps. Do you want to understand death better? Want to start planning your legacy project? Need companion support as you walk along side a loved one? I would love to meet with you and talk. You can fill out the form below to get the conversation started. I am so honored to be apart of your journey, wherever you are at today!
